HomeGoods

Last evening, while shopping at HomeGoods, I happened past your vast array of Oriental, excuse me, Asian rugs. The helpful young employee was using the automated conveyer system to “flip through” the offerings for a potential Asian carpet purchaser. All were shocked when a gentleman dropped out from between two of the rugs with a shout. He had on jeans, Doc Martens, a Kangol cap, and a plaid flannel shirt that he was furiously slapping the dust from. “Thank God,” he kept repeating, “Thank God.” The bewildered HomeGoods employee remained professional, asking the mystery man, “How long have you been trapped in there?” The man sneezed and said,”Since you opened.” We all looked at our watches, it was nearly 8 p.m. The customer was incredulous, and seemed to forget all about the fine wool hand-knotted artisan rug he’d been contemplating. “You’ve been in there since 9:30 this morning?” he asked the dusty man. “No,” he said. “Since 1992.”