Sherwin Williams

Sherwin Williams, you had me at “One Coat Guaranteed.” Because I am not a DIY guy at all. Had to Google it just to know it means Do It Yourself. And nobody seems to want to help me with home projects. As if they already know that hanging a picture involves me pointing the studfinder…

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HomeGoods

Last evening, while shopping at HomeGoods, I happened past your vast array of Oriental, excuse me, Asian rugs. The helpful young employee was using the automated conveyer system to “flip through” the offerings for a potential Asian carpet purchaser. All were shocked when a gentleman dropped out from between two of the rugs with a…

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Down in Flames

  IT was going to be okay. Over the screams and cursing and prayers, I heard a calm voice say it. My own.   It was going to be okay, because I knew in those final moments that I’d accomplished the impossible. A nearly three-hour flight had been a nearly complete failure. Id been desperately…

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Daddy

  DADDY One day I shall stop grieving. But it will not be this day. Today I have an important errand. It’s the reason that I’m sitting outside the gate of the small city park at dawn, watching the sunrise without even seeing it. I’ve got Zoe’s hair clip in my hand, with the lock…

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Bert

We are all just waiting for our number to be called. I’m not philosophizing, I’m at the Department of Motor Vehicles. By necessity. I doubt that anyone in this frowning, muttering multitude is here by choice. Not even the government employees. Especially not them.   The clock was the only thing moving. I was near…

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Aisles

AISLES My timing couldn’t be worse. I must be a bit delusional, thinking I can just stop and buy a few groceries this crisp autumn morning. It’s Sunday morning, is the problem. It’s a poorly-kept secret that this is the only time guys shop. But I’m a guy, so here I am. And from the…

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Mirror, Mirror, Blah, Blah, Blah…

MIRROR, MIRROR, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH Writing about oneself in front of a mirror is a tired cliché. I’m a writer, allegedly; I know these things. So, the last thing I should be doing right now is standing here, in the bathroom, reflecting. And making lousy puns. But enough about me. Just kidding. This is all…

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Tastes Like Chicken

TASTES LIKE CHICKEN Lenny Meeks had survived another day at the prison disguised as a business office. To an adventurous person, it might have resembled a daring escape; leaving the cubicle, passing unnoticed through the exit, and emerging into the afternoon sunlight. But Lenny’s life was the antithesis of adventure, and he didn’t do daring.…

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Seeing Red

  SEEING RED   “MAYER!” Jack Carson’s voice sounds nearly as loud and angry over the phone as it does in person. If I close my eyes, which unfortunately I did, I can see his face reddening, and furious eyebrows plunging toward his nose. The purpose of this call, if I translated the bellowing correctly, was…

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Joy to You and Me

Was it a bistro? Or a café? I really couldn’t say. But she was the reason that I stopped there each day. It was the perfect half hour. Joy was always waiting for me. Same booth, same time. And, I couldn’t help but notice, and be stunned by, the same bedazzling smile. As usual, she…

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